Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Mad Woman!

At an AMC cocktail reception, Mad Men actress, January Jones, decided to bring a gift. January was not only gracious enough to bring one gift, but also brought two gifts! Isn't she the sweetest?

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh and... oh my gosh. Those were the only words I could utter when I saw this outfit. What in the world was January thinking? This whole outfit (and the hair) needs to be thrown into the desert and buried with sand, so we wouldn't ever have to see it again. Would someone please tell me what makes a woman decide to wear not only a sheer dress (and an unflattering one at that) topped off with a strapless bra and boob bows??? This whole outfit is totally beyond me, so if anyone knows why Ms. Jones wore this (and I use this word lightly) ensemble, please kindly tell me and I will be forever in your debt.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Rosamund Pike.

Well, my vacation is officially over now my dear followers, and it is time for some more truly heinous acts of fashion. Enjoy!

Rosamund Pike is a gorgeous British actress, whose acting skills are crazy good. Ms. Pike's next role will be in the remake of the classic movie... The Fiddler on the Roof! The thing is, nobody told her that the fiddler was originally played by a man.

This outfit is so frumpy and...weird, I don't know where to begin. I don't understand what statement Rosamund is trying to project to us by wearing this outfit, maybe she's trying to tell us it's Hammertime, or she's just trying to make us jealous because her skirt doubles as a picnic blanket. Well, I'll you this Rosamund, plaid is not really worn a lot unless you are... (A) a lumberjack or (B) a blanket, and plaid is not for wearing to events, even though some Celebs are prone to do so. Oh well, we still like you Rosamund. Better luck next time.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Chloe Sevigny.

In 1992 Michelle Pfeiffer had her turn as Catwoman, and in 2004 so did Halle Berry. Now there is a new Catwoman on the prowl...everyone meet Chloe Sevigny aka... Catwoman

Why are celebs wearing jumpsuits all of a sudden? Unless you are under the age of five or you are incarcerated in prison, you have no reason to wear a jumpsuit. Chloe has always had um...different taste in clothes but this is going too far... even for her. Not only is this jumpsuit unflattering to Chloe's frame but a cow had to die just to make this hideous outfit and for this crime I am terribly upset with Chloe. I mean if your going to kill animals to make your clothes, at least make sure your clothes are going to be chic. This is a huge NO! Chloe. Here's some advice though Chloe, stay away from PETA members, they would have a field day with you.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Controversial Dresses That Made Headlines.

Everybody who was alive at the time, remembered when Halle Berry stepped onto the red carpet at the 2002 Academy Awards, wearing a burgundy, floral embroidered dress from Elie Saab. We were shocked and in awe of Ms. Berry, saying 'I can't believe this dress' and wondering who it was from. Halle surprised us that night and still surprises us.

This dress did make headlines but not for the reasons that you think. This dress made headlines because of it's beauty and; how stunning it looked on Halle. From the top of her head to the sole of her feet, Halle radiated beauty and when she won her Oscar we were all cheering for her. This is the image you keep in your head when you get dressed in the morning. Halle's short locks added the finishing touch on this divine gown. I adored this dress when I first saw it and I still adore it to this day. This is how you do elegant but sexy, ladies watch and learn.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Khloe Kardashian.

Khloe Kardashian was a huge Michael Jackson fan, so...In honor of Michael Jackson she chose to wear a dress commemorating one of his biggest songs...Black or White!

I don't understand why dresses that are two different colors are considered cute. Hopefully Khloe can explain to me why it is so appealing to wear a dress that is multi colored. Was it Khloe's intent to look like the yin yang sign? I don't know. The way this dress is cut on Ms. Kardashian's body, makes her look awkward and, I'm sorry but I can't even say I like her shoes. To me those shoes look like those gloves that you see some homeless people wearing, with their fingers all out and everything. Sorry Khloe but this a big...Oh no she didn't!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sophie Okonedo.

Calling all citizens, calling all citizens. This morning a patient escaped from our hospital. The patient is described as extremely beautiful, wearing pearls and shoes like Dorothy's from the Wizard of Oz. If you see this patient please call us. Thank You.

Sophie Okonedo gave a stellar performance (and in my opinion, an Oscar winning one) in the book turned movie, The Secret Life of Bees. The problem is Sophie should have only worn this outfit secretly in the comfort of her own home. Come on Sophie, we all know you can do better so why would you willingly wear something that makes you look like you escaped from a hospital? Is it just me or is that Hollywood's best actors don't really know how to dress sometimes? Next time Sophie save more time so you won't have to show up in your nightgown.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Controversial Dresses That Made Headlines.

''Sunny day, sweeping Christina away. On my way to where the stars are at the VMA's! Can you tell me how to get...okay I'm pretty sure you get my point.

At the 2003 Video Music Awards, Christina Aguilera chose to show off her love of children's television shows, by wearing one of the most beloved characters...Big Bird. Christina Aguilera is one of the greatest singers to ever walk this planet. It's amazing how someone this small can command attention with a voice so powerful it will bring you to your knees. Now, why would this same person, deck themselves out in Big Bird's feathers, and pile their hair on top of their head so they look like a pineapple. Actually Christina kind of looks like she was prepared to go without clothes, but when she stepped out of her limo, a sea anemone attached itself to her. Sea creatures belong in the ocean Christina, and are not to be worn to the VMA's.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ashlee Simpson- Wentz

When in a fashion pinch, you can use household items to put the finishing touches on your outfit. For example, Ashlee Simpson didn't have a skirt to pair with her leather bustier, so she opened her cabinets and found hefty bags. Now, you simply cut out the bottom of the hefty bag, step into it and cinch the bag in at your waist with the built in strings. Genius! Now, if you would like to own this skirt, simply go to your everyday grocery store and purchase trash bags.

I am getting so tired of this "woe is me'' look celebs are sporting these days. If your that miserable do something about it, eat chocolate, do something! To make this complete, they always wear dark eye shadow and outfits that gives them that, I just finished rummaging in my neighbor's trash can, look. Ashlee isn't as bad as some celebs, she smiles...sometimes. Now Ashlee I do like you, but I'm really disappointed in this outfit but, I have to say Ashlee, I'm kind of digging your shoes.